The Lost Discipline: Rediscovering Fasting in Family Life
When a child in your church announces they're fasting for Lent or before a mission trip, their peers often react with confused stares. "You're not eating? At all? Why?" In our culture of constant consumption and unlimited snacking, the ancient discipline of fasting has become foreign—even among Christian families. Many believers have never fasted, don't know how, and certainly don't know if or how children should participate.
Yet Scripture presents fasting as a normal spiritual practice. Jesus didn't say "if you fast," but "when you fast" (Matthew 6:16), assuming His followers would engage this discipline. Throughout biblical history, God's people fasted during crisis, seeking direction, repenting, interceding, and drawing near to God. Early Christians fasted before major decisions. Church history shows fasting as regular practice for centuries.
Somewhere along the way, many Protestant churches lost this discipline. We emphasized grace and freedom in Christ—rightly so—but sometimes threw out spiritual practices along with legalistic misuse of them. Now we face a generation that knows nothing of fasting's power to quiet distraction, sharpen spiritual focus, and demonstrate that God matters more than physical comfort.
How can Christian parents reintroduce this biblical discipline—to themselves and their children—in healthy, age-appropriate, spiritually meaningful ways? This article explores different types of fasting, biblical foundations, practical applications, and crucial health considerations for teaching kids and teens this powerful spiritual practice.
Biblical Foundations of Fasting
Before implementing any fasting practice with children, we need to understand what Scripture teaches about this discipline.
What is Biblical Fasting?
Biblical fasting is voluntary abstinence from food (and sometimes drink) for spiritual purposes. It's not dieting for weight loss, not a hunger strike to manipulate God, and not a work to earn His favor. True fasting focuses on God, using physical hunger to remind us of deeper spiritual hunger.
Isaiah 58 describes what God desires in fasting: not just skipping meals, but loosening chains of injustice, freeing the oppressed, sharing food with the hungry, and providing for the poor (Isaiah 58:6-7). External fasting should reflect internal heart change.
Purposes of Fasting in Scripture
Biblical characters fasted for various reasons:
- Seeking God's guidance: Ezra fasted before a dangerous journey, seeking God's protection (Ezra 8:21-23)
- Repentance and confession: The Ninevites fasted when Jonah preached, turning from wickedness (Jonah 3:5-10)
- Grief and mourning: David fasted when his child was dying (2 Samuel 12:16)
- Spiritual warfare: Jesus fasted before facing Satan's temptation (Matthew 4:1-2)
- Intercession: Esther called for fasting before approaching the king to save her people (Esther 4:16)
- Preparing for ministry: The church fasted before sending Paul and Barnabas as missionaries (Acts 13:2-3)
- Worship and seeking God: Anna the prophetess "worshiped night and day, fasting and praying" (Luke 2:37)
These examples show fasting accompanies serious spiritual focus, not routine religiosity.
Jesus' Teaching on Fasting
Jesus fasted forty days before beginning His ministry (Matthew 4:2). He assumed His disciples would fast: "When you fast, do not look somber as the hypocrites do... But when you fast, put oil on your head and wash your face, so that it will not be obvious to others that you are fasting" (Matthew 6:16-18).
Notice Jesus condemns hypocritical fasting for public approval, not fasting itself. He calls for private, sincere fasting focused on God, not impressing others.
When questioned why His disciples didn't fast while John the Baptist's disciples did, Jesus explained: "How can the guests of the bridegroom mourn while he is with them? The time will come when the bridegroom will be taken from them; then they will fast" (Matthew 9:15). After Jesus' ascension, His followers indeed fasted (Acts 13:2-3, 14:23).
What Fasting is NOT
Scripture also clarifies what fasting shouldn't be:
- Not a way to earn God's favor: We're saved by grace, not works (Ephesians 2:8-9). Fasting doesn't make God love us more.
- Not a hunger strike to manipulate God: God responds to faith and humility, not our ability to skip meals.
- Not an occasion for pride: The Pharisee who boasted about fasting twice weekly went home unjustified (Luke 18:12-14).
- Not a substitute for obedience: God rejects fasting combined with injustice and oppression (Isaiah 58:3-5).
- Not mandatory for all Christians: Fasting is a discipline for those called to it in specific seasons, not a universal requirement.
Types of Fasting
Scripture describes various fasting approaches. Understanding these types helps families choose appropriate options for different ages and situations.
Complete Water-Only Fast
This involves consuming only water for a set period—no food, no other beverages.
#### Biblical Examples
- Jesus fasted forty days in the wilderness (Matthew 4:2)
- Moses fasted forty days on Mount Sinai (Exodus 34:28)
- Elijah fasted forty days traveling to Mount Horeb (1 Kings 19:8)
#### Duration
Can range from 24 hours to multiple days or even weeks. Extended water fasts require medical supervision.
#### Appropriateness for Children
Not recommended for children or young teens. Growing bodies need consistent nutrition. Even mature teens should only attempt water fasting with parental permission, medical clearance, and for limited duration (typically no more than 24 hours).
Absolute Fast (No Food or Water)
The most severe form, abstaining from both food and water.
#### Biblical Examples
- Esther and the Jews fasted three days before she approached the king (Esther 4:16)
- Paul fasted three days after his Damascus road experience (Acts 9:9)
#### Duration
Very limited—typically no more than three days, as dehydration becomes life-threatening.
#### Appropriateness for Children
Never appropriate for children. Even for adults, absolute fasts should only be attempted in extraordinary circumstances with clear divine leading and medical awareness of risks.
Partial Fast (Daniel Fast)
Restricting diet to certain foods while avoiding others. The most famous example is the Daniel Fast.
#### Biblical Example
Daniel and his friends ate only vegetables and drank only water for ten days (Daniel 1:12). Later, Daniel abstained from "choice food," meat, and wine for three weeks (Daniel 10:3).
#### Modern Practice
The Daniel Fast typically includes:
- Allowed: Fruits, vegetables, whole grains, legumes, nuts, seeds, plant-based oils, water
- Avoided: Meat, dairy, eggs, sweeteners, leavened bread, processed foods, caffeine, alcohol
#### Duration
Commonly 10, 21, or 40 days.
#### Appropriateness for Children
Can be appropriate for older children and teens with modifications. A shortened Daniel Fast with nutritional supervision can work for ages 10+. Ensure adequate calories and protein. Not recommended for young children whose growth requires more diverse nutrition.
Selective Fast
Giving up specific foods or food categories for a period.
#### Examples
- No sweets or desserts
- No caffeine
- No snacks between meals
- No fast food
- One simple meal daily instead of normal varied diet
#### Duration
Flexible—can be days, weeks, or an entire season like Lent (40 days).
#### Appropriateness for Children
Excellent for children of all ages. This allows even young children to participate in fasting's spiritual discipline without risking health. A seven-year-old can give up desserts for a week while focusing on prayer.
Partial-Day Fast
Skipping specific meals while eating others.
#### Examples
- Skipping breakfast
- Skipping lunch
- No food until dinner (common in intermittent fasting)
- Jewish fast days: no food or water from sundown to sundown
#### Biblical Practice
While Scripture doesn't specifically prescribe this, the principle of partial abstinence aligns with biblical fasting's spirit.
#### Appropriateness for Children
Appropriate for teens, possible for older preteens with supervision. A 13-year-old could skip breakfast and spend that time in prayer. Not recommended for children under 10, who need consistent meals for stable energy and growth.
Juice or Liquid Fast
Consuming only liquids—water, juice, smoothies, broth—but no solid food.
#### Biblical Precedent
No specific biblical example, though it aligns with partial fasting principles.
#### Duration
Typically 1-10 days.
#### Appropriateness for Children
Generally not recommended for children. Could be appropriate for older teens (16+) for short duration (1-3 days) with medical clearance and nutritional supervision. The line between this and eating disorders can be dangerously thin for vulnerable adolescents.
Media or Technology Fast
While not food-related, fasting from screens, social media, entertainment, or technology applies fasting principles.
#### Examples
- No TV for a week
- No social media during Lent
- No video games for 21 days
- Limited screen time, using saved time for prayer and Bible reading
#### Appropriateness for Children
Excellent for all ages. Even young children can "fast" from favorite shows or toys, learning to set aside good things to focus on better things—God.
Age-Appropriate Fasting Practices
Children's capacity for fasting varies by age, maturity, health, and spiritual development. Here are guidelines—always modified for individual children's needs.
Preschool (Ages 3-5)
#### Recommended Approaches
Non-food fasts only. Young children need consistent nutrition and can't understand abstract spiritual concepts well enough for food fasting to be meaningful.
#### Practical Ideas
- "Fasting" from a favorite toy for a day, using the time to pray instead
- Giving up a favorite TV show, replacing it with Bible stories
- Skipping dessert one night and praying together instead
#### Teaching Focus
"Sometimes we set aside things we like to spend extra time with God. Let's give up [toy/show] today and pray together instead. God loves when we want to be close to Him!"
Elementary (Ages 6-9)
#### Recommended Approaches
Selective fasts and media fasts. Children this age can understand giving up specific foods or activities for spiritual purposes.
#### Practical Ideas
- No sweets for a week, praying each time they're tempted
- Giving up video games and using that time for Bible reading
- Skipping snacks one day and praying during normal snack times
- Family media fast—no TV for a weekend, focusing on worship and prayer together
#### Teaching Focus
"Fasting means giving up something good to focus on something better—God. When you want [candy/games] but can't have it, that's a reminder to pray and talk to God. He's always more important than the things we give up."
Preteens (Ages 10-12)
#### Recommended Approaches
Selective fasts, media fasts, modified Daniel Fast, possibly partial-day fasts with supervision.
#### Practical Ideas
- Modified Daniel Fast for a week (vegetables, fruits, whole grains, but ensuring adequate calories and protein)
- Skipping breakfast once or twice weekly and spending that time in prayer
- Giving up social media or texting for Lent
- Simplified meals—eating oatmeal and fruit instead of varied breakfast, using time saved on meal prep for devotions
#### Teaching Focus
"Fasting helps us depend on God instead of food or entertainment. When you feel hungry or bored without [what they're fasting from], pray. Let that discomfort remind you that only God truly satisfies. This is training in self-control and spiritual focus."
#### Important Considerations
- Monitor for signs of disordered eating or unhealthy focus on food restriction
- Ensure they're still getting adequate nutrition overall
- Keep fasts limited in duration
- Make it voluntary, never forced
Young Teens (Ages 13-15)
#### Recommended Approaches
All of the above plus partial-day fasts, short liquid fasts (with medical clearance), and longer Daniel Fasts.
#### Practical Ideas
- Daniel Fast for 10-21 days
- Skipping lunch weekly and using lunch period for prayer
- 24-hour water fast (with parental supervision and medical clearance)
- One simple meal daily for a week
- Technology fast—no phone for a week
#### Teaching Focus
"You're old enough to engage deeper spiritual disciplines. Fasting isn't about proving yourself to God—it's about creating space to hear Him. Use hunger or discomfort as prompts to pray. Let this teach you that physical comfort isn't ultimate—knowing God is."
#### Important Safeguards
- Require parental permission and oversight
- Screen for eating disorders or body image issues before any food fast
- Teach that fasting has nothing to do with weight or appearance
- Monitor physical and emotional wellbeing during fasts
- Allow them to stop if feeling unwell
Older Teens (Ages 16-18)
#### Recommended Approaches
Approaching adult fasting capacity, but still with parental awareness and medical clearance for extended fasts.
#### Practical Ideas
- Daniel Fast for 21-40 days
- 24-hour water fasts monthly
- Multi-day liquid fasts (with medical supervision)
- Regular weekly partial-day fasts
- Extended media/technology fasts
#### Teaching Focus
"As you approach adulthood, these spiritual disciplines will serve you throughout life. Fasting trains you to deny immediate gratification for eternal purposes. It builds spiritual strength. Let God use this practice to shape your character and deepen your relationship with Him."
#### Preparation for Adulthood
Teens this age should learn to:
- Discern when and why to fast
- Recognize physical limits and warning signs
- Break fasts safely and appropriately
- Integrate fasting into overall spiritual life without legalism
Health and Safety Considerations
Spiritual disciplines must never harm physical health. God cares about our bodies and doesn't want fasting to cause damage.
Who Should NOT Fast
Certain children should not engage food fasting regardless of age:
- Children with diabetes or blood sugar issues: Skipping meals can cause dangerous blood sugar fluctuations
- Those with eating disorders or history of disordered eating: Fasting can trigger relapses
- Children with growth concerns or failure to thrive: They need maximum nutrition
- Those taking medications requiring food: Check with doctors
- Children with chronic health conditions: Consult healthcare providers first
- Anyone recovering from illness: Wait until fully healthy
Warning Signs to Stop Fasting
Teach children to recognize and report these symptoms immediately:
- Dizziness or lightheadedness
- Severe headache
- Rapid heartbeat
- Difficulty concentrating or confusion
- Weakness or shakiness
- Nausea or vomiting
- Feeling faint
If any of these occur, break the fast immediately and consult a doctor if symptoms don't quickly resolve.
Breaking Fasts Safely
How you end a fast matters, especially for longer fasts:
- Short fasts (1 meal): Can resume normal eating
- 24-hour fasts: Start with light foods—fruit, soup, small portions
- Multi-day fasts: Gradually reintroduce food over several meals, starting with liquids and soft foods
- Extended fasts (3+ days): Require careful refeeding plan; sudden heavy eating can be dangerous
Hydration is Critical
Unless doing a very short absolute fast for specific spiritual reasons, hydration is essential. Water-only fasts should include plenty of water throughout the day. Dehydration causes headaches, fatigue, and can be dangerous.
When to Consult Healthcare Providers
Seek medical advice before children fast if:
- Planning fasts longer than 24 hours
- Child has any health conditions
- Child takes regular medications
- You have concerns about their physical or mental health
- Child shows signs of eating disorder behaviors
Making Fasting Spiritually Meaningful
Fasting without spiritual focus is just skipping meals. Here's how to make it genuinely meaningful for children.
Define the Purpose
Before fasting, discuss why:
- "We're fasting this week to pray for Grandma's health."
- "I'm giving up video games to spend more time reading my Bible."
- "Our family is doing a Daniel Fast to seek God's direction about [decision]."
Clear purpose keeps fasting from becoming empty ritual.
Replace, Don't Just Remove
The time or mental space freed by fasting should be filled with God:
- If skipping breakfast, spend that time in prayer
- If giving up TV, read Bible stories instead
- If fasting from sweets, use each craving as a prompt to pray
- If avoiding social media, journal prayers or Scripture reflections
Keep it Between Them and God
Following Jesus' teaching in Matthew 6:16-18, discourage children from broadcasting their fasting. It's not for public approval but private devotion.
Exception: Corporate fasting as a family or church body can be appropriate when everyone participates together for shared purpose.
Use Hunger as a Reminder
Teach children: "When your stomach growls or you feel hungry, let that be a reminder to pray. Physical hunger points to spiritual hunger for God."
Combine with Other Disciplines
Fasting is powerful when combined with:
- Prayer: The primary companion to fasting
- Bible reading: God's Word feeds us spiritually while we fast physically
- Worship: Focusing on God's character and goodness
- Service: Isaiah 58 connects true fasting with serving the needy
- Journaling: Recording insights and prayers during the fast
Common Questions Parents Ask
"Should we force our children to fast?"
No. Forced fasting breeds resentment, not spiritual growth. Invite participation, model fasting yourself, but don't coerce. "Our family is fasting this week. You're welcome to join us, or you can participate by [non-food alternative]."
"What if they complain about being hungry?"
"That's actually part of fasting—feeling hungry reminds us to pray. When you feel hungry, talk to God instead of thinking about food."
Some complaining is normal. Constant misery means the fast is too difficult; consider modifying it.
"Can young children fast during Lent?"
Yes, with age-appropriate modifications. Young children can give up sweets, favorite toys, or TV shows for Lent while older children might do modified Daniel Fasts or partial-day fasts.
"Is it okay to exercise while fasting?"
Light exercise is usually fine during short fasts. Intense exercise during extended fasts can be dangerous, especially for children. Use common sense—if they feel weak or dizzy, stop both the exercise and possibly the fast.
"What if they 'fail' at fasting?"
Treat it as a learning experience, not a spiritual failure. "Fasting is hard! That's okay. What did you learn from trying? How can we adjust next time to make it more manageable?"
God cares about hearts, not perfect performance.
"Should we tell their teachers they're fasting?"
For short, selective fasts, probably not necessary. For longer fasts or fasts affecting school meals, a brief heads-up might be appropriate: "Sarah is participating in a spiritual fast this week, so she won't be eating lunch. She'll have dinner at home. If she seems unwell, please let us know."
Teaching Fasting Through Example
The most powerful way to teach children about fasting is modeling it yourself.
Fast as a Family
Corporate family fasts create shared experience:
- "This week our family is doing a Daniel Fast while we pray about where God wants us to serve."
- "Let's all give up TV this weekend and spend that time together playing games, talking, and praying."
- "We're skipping desserts this month and donating the money we save to [mission/charity]."
Share Your Experiences
Age-appropriately share what you're learning through fasting:
"I felt really hungry today while fasting, but it reminded me how much I need God. Physical food doesn't ultimately satisfy—only He does."
"Fasting is hard for me too, but I'm asking God to help me. Let's pray together."
Don't Hide Your Fasting, But Don't Flaunt It
Balance Jesus' command for secret fasting with teaching opportunities:
- Within family: Share about fasting to teach and invite participation
- Outside family: Keep it private, not announcing it to neighbors or church
- Children's discretion: Help them understand the difference between explaining their fast when asked vs. broadcasting it for attention
Conclusion: Building Spiritual Hunger
In a culture of constant consumption and endless entertainment, fasting is countercultural. It says there's something more important than the next meal, the next snack, the next show. It trains us to want God more than comfort, to seek Him more than satisfaction.
Teaching children to fast—age-appropriately, safely, and meaningfully—gives them a tool they'll use throughout life. They learn that:
- God is more important than physical appetites
- Self-control is possible through the Spirit's power
- Discomfort can serve spiritual purposes
- Prayer and seeking God are worth sacrifice
- We can set aside good things to pursue better things
Start where your family is. If you've never fasted, begin with simple selective fasts or media fasts. Model the discipline for your children. Invite their participation without pressure. Make it about drawing near to God, not achieving perfect performance.
As your children grow, gradually introduce more intensive fasting as appropriate for their age and maturity. Always prioritize their physical health and spiritual wellbeing over rigid fasting rules.
And remember Jesus' promise: Your Father who sees what is done in secret will reward you (Matthew 6:18). Fasting done in humble dependence on God, not for show, draws us into deeper relationship with Him—the greatest reward of all.